Port Blend, Founders Reserve Porto 04'

Naked Wine Review 58
Wine: Founders Reserve Porto, Port Blend
Producer: Sogrape Vinhos
Brand: Sandeman
Vintage: 04'
Region: Port, Portugal
Price: 21.00
Date tasted: 11/9/10 Happy Birthday to Jane!
Place tasted: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Served with a Garam Masala Spice Posh Chocolate Truffle. It was the best chocolate creation I have ever experienced in my life! This wine is a great compliment to just about any classic holiday desert. And though a nice port like this is a rich and lovely after dinner treat, it would also nicely lend its charms to a variety of hors d'oeuvre and cheese trays featuring absolutely anything from Stilton to Brie.
Appearance: Like the brilliant glow on a pair of Ruby Slippers that any Dorothy would be proud to skip down the yellow brick road in.
On the snoot: it's an intense and exotic hit of sandalwood and cherry.
Taste: Chewy red velvet fruit with just a hint of pumpkin pie spice. There is also a charming element that represents all of the sweet splendor that dwells within the breast of dear Mother Earth; Such as wet clover, nasturtium, and sweet grass. Warms the palate, calms the spirit.
Balance: A rich, smooth, and delicate beauty. Tannins, acids, sweetness, and alcohol, all lift one another up until it almost disappears before you sense that you've swallowed it. Magic.
Comments: It's everything you want your naked lovers kiss to taste of. Sweet, passionate, and full of pheromones. Ya, it's really good.




Rating:3.8 stars

www.poshchocolat.com

Pinot Noir-Moonlight, Ten Spoon 08'

Naked Wine Review 57
Wine: Moonlight Pinot Noir
Producer: Ten Spoon Vineyard
Vintage: 08'
Region: Montana made-Oregon grown
Price: 17.00

Date tasted: 10/31/10
Place tasted: The ritual was intoxicating. A spirited ceremony filled with dance, song, and very repetitive yoga moves. We were lost in our secret location where the spirits of the past and the glowing soft radiance of the living moment mingled in joyous reconciliation. It was a Halloween celebration!
Serve with: We had chicken cacciatore on spaghetti squash baked with garlic and olive oil then topped with parmesan cheese. Yummy. It would be good with a variety of foods including vegetable dishes, pasta, and salmon.
Appearance: Rich velvety garnet with a copper twinkle in her eye.
On the snoot this wine is a stroll through a grassy meadow; Powerful wet and earthy with complex floral whispers on the exhale.
Taste: Layers that open in song with a bright berry and current show stopper, followed by dancing naked rose petals in Oregon rain, and on the finish a lingering blend of Pavarotti meets Pink Floyd in a world of gentle etherial tannins and tall cedar trees.
Balance: Light on her feet, she is a classical ballerina with sinewy toned muscles and passionate expression, giving great depth and meaning to her movement.
Comments: This is one of the best Pinot Noir wines I've ever had the pleasure of contemplating. The snoot is my favorite feature, but it's all very good. It was a big hit at this years Samhain celebration party!

Rating: 4 out of 4 stars

Malbec, Achaval Ferrer 08'

Naked Wine Review 56
Wine: Malbec
Producer: Achaval Ferrer
Vintage: 08'
Region: Argentina
Price: 22.00
Date tasted: 10/1/10
Place tasted: In rare 84 degree Autumn sunshine, overlooking a glorious raging river from the gentle, warm pool of a natural hot springs in the Idaho wilderness.
Served with: Blue dragonflies, chubby naked men, and very pretty ladies. Would probably be good with food, any food. I think it would be very nice with grilled steak, burgers, or most any red meat...or how about duck? Yes, good with duck; And I don't even like duck, except as friends. On second thought, lets give the duck a miss.
Appearance: Opaque blood red with muted garnet highlights.
On the snoot she boasts the scent of the rare and beautiful Argentinean paintberry.
Taste: A beautifully dry yet refreshing burst of condensed red raspberry that holds the palates attention like that special smiling naked dancer that always steals the show at that one place downtown you've only heard folks talk about, but never actually been to yourself. On the finish, prepare yourself for a lovely midnight walk down a long, captivating, dusty path of chewy tannins and faint licorice spice.
Balance: Well balanced, medium bottom..I mean body. Imagine perfection. I want more.
Comments: Bite into it with both fangs. It's a sexy, exciting, quite spooky little wine. I loved it, and so saved it for my Samhain review. Blessed be.

Rating:3.8 stars

Red Blend, Coteaux d' Aix 07'

Naked Wine Review 55
Wine: Rouge-50% Grenache, 25% Syrah, 25% Cabernet Sauvignon
Estate: Commanderie De La Bargemone
Vintage: 07'
Region: France-Coteaux d' Aix en Provence
Price: I think it was just under $30 at the restaurant.

Date tasted:9/3/10
Place tasted: It was a perfect meal at my favorite Missoula restaurant, the Pearl, in the good company of a dear friend while enjoying a lovely bottle of French wine. What a great experience to add to my collection.
Served with: We began with ginger scallops in their shells and then both had the fresh Idaho trout. For desert we went crazy and shared a creme brulee. Amazing cuisine, as always. This wine paired just fine with the fish; I think because of it's rose-like, light hearted nature. No way it could overpower the fish. I think this wine is just fine with fish. Some of us just don't prefer whites, and I'm ok with that.
Appearance: Of a soft garnet pillow with a luminous enchanted glow.
Bouquet: Floral; Roses, the scent of roses is almost audible, like you can hear a soft, breezy song as you inhale, exhale, and then inhale again.
Taste: An eclectic blend of red fruit with a hint of that rose again. Subtle, very light tannins stroke the palate and make it purr. Has a lingering, etherial finish.
Balance: Long, wispy, naked legs roll in gentle curves down the sides of your glass. Her body is quite thin but not to worry, she has all the skill, grace, and beauty of a wild tiger....and she only wants to please you.
Comments: Thank you Dennis.

rating:3.5 stars

Red Blend, Columbia Crest 07'

Naked Wine Review 54
Wine: Two Vines Vineyard 10 Red-Syrah, Cabernet Franc, Sangiovese, Grenache, Mourvèdre
Producer: Columbia Crest
Vintage: 07'
Region: Washington State
Price: 8.00

Date tasted: 10/13/10
Place tasted: Cuddled up in bed with a rerun of the Henry Rollins Show. I would like to thank Mr. Rollins for his IFC series; Black Flag; and for introducing me to the Mars Volta.
Served with a nice chunk of Gouda and a naughty hunk of Stilton. Also on the plate: Macintosh apples, orange honeydew melon, celery, water crackers, and Fran's glorious chocolate filled figs; available from Fran's Chocolates, Seattle Washington.
Appearance: Fully saturated garnet red with purple highlights, not unlike the brilliant blooms of the most beautiful Root Beer Truffle.
Bouquet: Astringent at first, then a kind of chocolate expression on the exhale. Some call it a vanilla, I call it a chocolate...blade-um-hmm. Go figure.
The taste is like that of a robust white chocolate cherry dipped genie wearing cinnamon spice cologne, drinking a cup of coffee, holding a leather whip, and offering you three wishes. I wonder what the whip is for? The wrap up involves soft elegant tannins clinging to the edges of a firm, long, lingering finish. Very nice.
Balance: Meaty, but well proportioned and beautiful, with chubby little legs on it's lovely androgynous body.
Comments: This angelic character sings big and operatic; probably prefers Richard Wagner. It's a great wine for licking off the ass of your naked best friend...or you could just drink it and watch t.v...up to you.

rating:3.5 stars

Chianti, Fontana D' Italia 08'

Naked Wine Review 53
Wine:Sangiovese
Producer:Fontana D' Italia
Vintage:08'
Region:Italy-Tuscany-Chianti
Price:14.00
Date tasted:9/30/10
Place tasted:With a good friend, in the traditional 'dinner and a movie' style. We watched Mary and Max. We loved Mary and Max.
Served with:Chicken Cacciatore, pasta, and fresh french bread; and for desert, mango sorbet. This wine and this meal were paired in heaven!
Appearance:Smiling ruby red in a glass.
Bouquet:Citrus perfume with a tiny hint of vanilla.
Taste:Breezy and bright, but doesn't fly away on the palate like some Chianti's tend to do. Wonderful depth of character with dry celery and orange blossom tickles. The finish has a short duration and is laced with soft round tannins.
Balance:Thin and light but with all the beauty and brilliance of...um...Liz Phair!
Comments:How about that. And I didn't think I even liked Chianti. Remember, you may know less about yourself and the world around you than you think. Keep searching with an open mind, and let your opinions go as quickly as they arrive; for there is no absolute truth, and stability is overrated.
p.s. Naked

rating:3.5 stars

Pinotage, Fairvalley 08'

naked wine review 52
wine:Pinotage
producer:Fairvalley
vintage:08
region:South Africa
price:9.00
date tasted:9/23/10
place tasted:i was dangling off the side of a cliff ten zillion feet high! it was dusk and i had just been sitting on top of that mountain over there, enjoying the sunset. all of a sudden, a spider frightened me and i fell over the edge. damn. hanging on by one hand i reached out with the other and the great Dionysus himself placed a full glass of Fairvalley Pinotage there for me to hold onto. it saved my life. as i sipped i became lighter and lighter until eventually i was able to float back over to safety....however, my sanity fell crashing to its death. god rest its sorry soul, i don't really miss it.
served with:orange marmalade, apricot chutney, rose hip butter, and pumpkin seeds (to take the edge off the sugar).
appearance:her aura has a muted and refined ruby glow.
bouquet: of puppy breath and leather.
taste:of soft plum and fig faeries, smoking fine tobacco and distracting you in the small room in which you are trying to paint. these faeries dance, smoke, and otherwise occupy the vast spaces between the fuzzy round tannins which upon completion shine and buff the soul of the palate to a lovely matte finish, like fine grain liquid sand paper....i should probably open a window while i'm painting.
balance:an elegant, medium bodied, well balanced lady. she's been to finishing school, but is still a bit of a rebel. we like her, very much.
comments:"the only way to get rid of a temptation, is to yield to it". jekyll and hyde...at least that's where i read it.

rating:3.5 stars

Red Blend, The Stump Jump 08'

naked wine review 51
wine:Grenache, Shiraz, Mourvedre
producer:the Stump Jump
vintage:08
region:South Australia
price:10.00
date tasted:9/22/10
place tasted:i don't know, i was blindfolded; there was a conversation going on between a skinny sounding guy and the voice of what i think was a rabbit woman. they were discussing the color of the Autumn trees and what time the full moon would rise. when i said i was thirsty, they poured me a glass of this stuff. they then removed my blindfold so i could help build a fire. the rabbit woman showed us how to roast bok choy on a stick. it tasted great! any time can be a good time i guess.
served with:bok choy....roasted on a stick. blue cheeses and foods that are lacking in 'sweet' would make a nice contrast to this wine.
appearance:garnet, with rusty highlights.
bouquet:a dense heavy fruit on the snoot. it reminds me of the scent you inhale while walking through thick fog after a heavy rain, past a naked man hanging by his knees from the branch of a large oak tree. that's good, i think.
taste:tender sweet berry and cinnamon dominate the first wet, lingering kiss. she then gently saunters away exposing her smooth, round, Rubenesque tail end; which is pretty and soft, but a little cliche' and 'nice' for this naughty little wine witch.
balance:full bodied....in fact a little chubby for my taste.
comments:it's a 'goodie two shoes' wine. if you want your innocence back, this wine will give it to you. i prefer a wine that can both respect and interact with my shameless hedonistic nature.

rating:2.8 stars

Red Blend, Li Veli 08'

naked wine review 50
wine:Salento Primitivo
producer:Li Veli
vintage:08'
region:Italy
price:12.00
date tasted:9/12/10
place tasted:on the top of the head of David Boreanaz! how did i get here? why am i so tiny? oh shit, is that a comb? gotta run.....
served with a rabbit plate, featuring: farmers market apples, melon, and carrots; along with Dubliner Cheese, celery, fresh baked bread, and Camp Tuffit rose hip butter.
appearance:a light ruby red rose with rusty edges.
bouquet:testosterone and full on hedonistic pheromones dominate the unsuspecting snoot as you inhale. excuse me, i have to go blow my nose now.
taste:dense vanilla soaked cherry and sour apple, wrapped in carmel and baked into a gingerbread castle surrounded by a peppercorn mote. dry, medium bodied, with teensy soft little tannins on the finish. soooo nice.
balance:perfect, thin, but not at all weak. moves around the glass like a beautiful....well, remember that sexy, skinny guy you dated in your 20's who had but one redeeming quality? it's like him; only it kicks that guys skinny ass.
comments:he possesses a most unique and beautiful character. pour yourself a glass and enjoy his naked company again and again. cin cin.

rating:3.8 stars

Red Blend, Goats in Villages 07'

naked wine review 49
wine:Shiraz Pinotage-Goats in Villages
producer:the Goats do Roam Wine Company
vintage: 07'
region:South Africa
price:10.00
date tasted:8/23/10
place tasted:day three of the Camp Tuffit experience. i was sharing time with Cherlin, Kyle, Tavish, Rose, Dennis, Frank, Rebecca, and all the little Freds that run around camp.... i remember us sitting out front of Helen & John, enjoying each others company while inhaling the pleasant aroma of a succulent lamb roast coming from inside the cabin. sometimes, life is very very kind indeed.
served with:succulent lamb roast, basmati, salad; and some amazing cheese snacks. thanks Cher!
appearance:sexy, deep black cherry red.
scent:of dates and plums smashed on railroad tracks; with a tiny hint of cardamom.
taste:of tobacco growing around a fig tree planted in an oak barrel near a pile of new tires; with thick, chewy tannins in the shape of gentle twinkling stars. finish smacks of dense fruit wrapped in peach fuzz and bids you an eloquent and classy farewell.
balance:viscous, luscious meaty legs; and so very sticky! she moves like a naked erotic dancer, and can make you blush like a school girl.
comments:a most delightful wine. you should keep at least one bottle around the house at all times. you'll crave it like chocolate once you've experienced it. hey, it would be great with chocolate!...go to poshchocolat.com for that.

rating:3.8 stars

Pinot Noir, Elk Cove 07'

naked wine review 48
wine:Pinot Noir
producer:Elk Cove Vineyards
vintage: 07'
region:Oregon
price:$24
date tasted:8/27/10
place tasted:Camp Tuffit Wine Tasting Extravaganza
served with:various cheeses, fruits, berries, farmers market veggies, and many other tasty goodies.
appearance:deep rusty velvet on a summer rose bathed in sunshine and blooming in Montana high mountain desert...very pretty.
bouquet:light floral cherry blossom snoot with a hint of wet earth and incense.
taste:her voice is heavy and rich, considering her mousy thin little figure. she holds strong, bouyant raspberry sphears suspended in a rich red fruit liquid with a gentle twist of lemon and served over real pretty lake rocks in a delicate frangapagni scented wine glass. her tannins are so soft, you want to pet them and name them 'fluffy'. it's very, very good.
balance:light as a feather with wispy skinny legs. dances around the glass like Ginger Rogers on the wing.
comments:this wine can inspire an uncontrolable urge to boast your bravest operatic technique; and whether you impress or embarras yourself and your friends, the pure joy felt in this moment will surly inspire and paint a little grin on the lips of the naked gods of goof.

rating:4 stars

Red Blend, Faithful Hound 05'

naked wine review 47
wine:Faithful Hound, 5 red blend
producer:Mulderbosch
vintage:05'
region:South Africa
price:18.00
date tasted:8/10/10
place tasted:in a basement apartment that was magically transformed from a sows ear into a beautiful rayon purse....i was gazing into a childhood fantasy hanging on the wall entitled 'Spring Lake by Amadeo Boroni'...walking down that peaceful path to my very own home (far left of painting) and waiting to be joyously greeted by many cats, familiar and dear to me....ahhh heaven!
served with:a lasagna that i left baking in the oven before my long walk and afternoon swim down at the lake; also a warm fresh loaf of french bread my neighbor dropped off earlier to thank me for taking care of her garden while she was vacationing in Sardinia. i love this place.
appearance:an aesthetic dream. deep, deep black cherry red. just gaze into and be hypnotized by the affluent blood of Dionysus himself.
bouquet:has the scent of new fabric used in a white gown with little pink flowers; hanging in a trendy downtown shop on a sale rack because of a small childs sticky chocolate handprint left on the skirts...that's exactly what it smells like.
taste:bright red fruit with chewy chocolate cylinder shaped tannins rounding into a lingering, plump and pleasant finish. another glowing South African beauty...i love it!
balance:limber, quick, and graceful like an ancient Egyptian cat.
comments:Faithful Hound is a great name for this wine as it has the ability to lift you out of a funk and make you see life through it's joyful, loyal, and 'i'm your friend no matter what' eyes. so get naked, pour yourself a glass of this stuff, and chase a tennis ball around the house...or around the yard (neighbors/weather permitting) enjoy life

rating:3.5 stars